Book Review #158 – Hex, by Thomas Olde Heuvelt

Oh boy, I really do have to talk about this book?

Anyway, here is my review for my least favourite read of the yet. It’s Hex, Thomas Olde Heuvelt.

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Synopsis:

The English language debut of the bestselling Dutch novel, Hex, from Thomas Olde Heuvelt–a Hugo and World Fantasy award nominated talent to watch

Whoever is born here, is doomed to stay ’til death. Whoever settles, never leaves.

Welcome to Black Spring, the seemingly picturesque Hudson Valley town haunted by the Black Rock Witch, a seventeenth century woman whose eyes and mouth are sewn shut. Muzzled, she walks the streets and enters homes at will. She stands next to children’s bed for nights on end. Everybody knows that her eyes may never be opened or the consequences will be too terrible to bear.

The elders of Black Spring have virtually quarantined the town by using high-tech surveillance to prevent their curse from spreading. Frustrated with being kept in lockdown, the town’s teenagers decide to break their strict regulations and go viral with the haunting. But, in so doing, they send the town spiraling into dark, medieval practices of the distant past.

This chilling novel heralds the arrival of an exciting new voice in mainstream horror and dark fantasy.

 

Pros:

  • it has a cool premise

 

Cons:

  • doesn’t deliver
  • it seems to be a type of book but it’s definitely other
  • pretty sure the author has never met or lived in the presence of a woman
  • weird obsession with a single boob and nipple, and violence towards them
  • just overall so freaking disturbing (in a bad way)

 

Verdict:

This book was recommended to me by a friend and, although she and other people read it and didn’t like it too much, I still decided to give it a change. I haven’t read that many spooky books anyway so this was going to be a good change. Little did I know. At until about 80% I was trying to convince myself that this wasn’t that bad, but I just couldn’t keep lying to myself much longer. This is just so, so terrible. I can’t believe this passed through the hands of so many people and no one stopped it. It has a pretty cool premise but unfortunately it doesn’t deliver. I was expecting the witch to do a lot more but nope, nothing. She just appears in places and is harassed. Literally everyone in that stupid town is a jerk to her. They fear her so much but aren’t capable of leaving her alone! It makes no sense at all. I wanted to punch all the characters. Don’t even get me started on the female characters… I’m pretty sure the author has never met a woman. It’s impossible to make these characters if you have. They’re all so unimportant or simply treated like pariahs, compared to the male ones. Either they’re good and pretty or bad and disgusting. The women in this town have as much personality as a piece of bland cardboard. At one point one of me main characters (male) describes his son’s girlfriend as a “cute little thing”. Disgusting but not surprising from the same man that has a favourite son (that, funny coincidence, isn’t the gay one). But that wasn’t even the worst part of it. Thorughout the book, there’s this weird obession with boob and nipple violence. Note, I used singular. Because it’s always just one, never the pair. It’s so fucking weird. The author takes so much time and detail to describe this thing. And even, at some point, there’s a fucking giant boob made of children… With the witch as a nipple. I KID YOU NOT, THIS HAPPENS! And it’s not an illusion or hallucination either. There’s also a woman excreting patte out of her vagina but that’s talk for another day because I’m just tired. I don’t even care about spoilers at this point, this book is just too much. I’m sorry for all the swearing but I’m so mad and disgusted with this thrash. It just made me sick. Please burn your copy if you have one.

Stay away from this book. I suffered enough for all of us.

Until soon,

Cat.

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2 thoughts on “Book Review #158 – Hex, by Thomas Olde Heuvelt

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